10 Ways to Manage the Hair in Your House
When vacuums and brooms aren't enough, try these tips for cleaning up all that hair around your home.
Whether you live with men, women, cats, dogs or sea monkeys, errant hairs strewn about a home are a common flaw in the American dream. They’re in the sink. They’re in that cup. They’re on top of the dresser. (HOW?! HOW DID IT GET THERE?!) They’re somehow banding together to form an impermeable layer of grit and shame on top of the carpet.
So how do we deal with this beast that is hair in the home? Overall, it’s a part of life we, as animals, have to just accept, but there are a few ways* you can prevent it from taking over your sanity and your digs.
*We should specify that not all of these 10 ways are all that helpful, but at least you’ll know you’re not alone in the existential crisis that makes you question where the hair ends and you begin.
1: The Bathroom Towel
The aftermath of this one can be admittedly a little disgusting and alarming, but if you’re reading this you're probably somewhat desperate and already find yourself pretty disgusting. If you shed quite a bit from styling your hair, make cleanup a little simpler by just laying a towel down underneath your feet before blow drying. When you're done, shake it off and stash it away. It’s not super sexy, but neither is walking out of your bathroom with inadvertent hair socks.
2: Wet Whiskers
Before using an electric razor over your vanity, wet the sink a little. The cleanup won’t be as terrible as it is with dry pricklies that have a mind of their own. Or, just buy one of these ridiculous looking things.
Yep. Rubber gloves. Rubber brooms. Maybe a rubber bodysuit if you’re feeling adventurous. When you’re done with your other tough cleaning jobs, leave the rubber gloves on and run your hands over any furniture or fabric surfaces that seem to collect hair. Rubber brooms can also work some serious magic on carpets, not to mention help you relieve some stress if you really put your back into it.
We’ve also heard rubber-soled flip-flops and sandals can help gather up hair if you rub them in circles on carpet. Add it to your workout routine — because working out in sandals is a thing, right? — and see what happens!
4: Get a Roommate
Preferably the Type A-kind who will either help you with the neverending chore that is hair cleanup or fight you if you try to remove the vacuum cleaner from her cold, chapped-from-cleaning-solution hands.
5: Load Up on Disposable Dusters
They may not be super economical, but chances are you don’t have time to wash reusable dust rags since you already spend at least 22 hours a day sweeping. Buy the economy-sized box and stash them in traffic-heavy places for easy maintenance. My dog actually loves to try to eat these things, which is kind of weird and cannibalistic when you think about her errant hairs being the sole reason I bought them in the first place.
Also, dryer sheets. Stash them in your couch for a quick run over pillows and probably in your car, too, since this problem is definitely not confined to the house.
6: The Shower Wall Thing
Everyone does this, right? It’s one way to keep your long strands from clogging up the tub drain and also to rob you of your dignity when you have to peel a hamster-sized ball of your own head hair from the wall of your Happy Clean Place.
7: Tub Drain
If you’d rather deal with the nightmare that is tub-drain clogs than face the shame of a guest encountering your hair hamster, you have a few options: a for preventative purposes, baking soda and vinegar, a wire hanger or a snake for tough clogs, or giving in to the beast by naming the clog and discussing politics or the latest House Hunters episode with it during shower time.
8: Dry Sweepers
They’re fairly inexpensive, they fit in tight corners where hair goes to multiply and suffocate you in your nightmares, and they WORK. Those commercials are pretty cute, too.
9: Suck it Up + Buy a Robot Vacuum
If I hear, “Just get a Roomba!” as a solution for pet hair one more time I … well, I’ll probably get a Roomba.
But seriously, pet owners swear by robot vacuums as the only way to actually manage what a shedding animal leaves behind on your floors. The downside is that we now know a robot vacuum could also cause a natural disaster if your pet leaves something else behind on your floor.
10: Set the House on Fire
Because when you give up for the day, lay down on the couch and find that one stray hair on yourself, after all of that cleaning, what other option do you really have?
(OK, this might not be the best option — that burning hair smell! — but we know we’ve all considered it at one point or another. Please don’t actually burn down your home.)